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This is me, MayB.

Welcome to my life.

Dog owner, domestic failure, cross stitcher, counsellor, dreamer and critic. 

I will make you sit, pour you a bowl of cereal, sew your mouth shut, tell you what to do, how to do it and then that you're doing it wrong.

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Saturday
Jan092010

Miscellaneous stories of me and The Guy

This week I had a run of a few accidental mishaps within a few hours and days.  I burned my arm on the stove, I tripped up the steps, I knocked over a statue under the light fixture, I bumped into the wall, I walked into the coffee table, etc.  Seriously, the list JUST. KEPT. GOING.

After only a few of these incidents occurred, The Guy looked at me and commented that I could hurt myself in a padded room.  Within moments, I got tangled in the computer cord and nearly toppled off the couch.  Now every time I hurt myself The Guy just looks at me like "See? I told you!"

He might have a point.  Of course, if he did, I would likely hurt myself on it.

******************************************************

I have to wear a mouth guard to bed.  I know, uber sexy.  But, I grind my teeth like a mofo, so I have to do something for fear I either a) break a tooth in my sleep or b) grind them down to nothing and start chewing on my own gums.  I pop the mouth guard in at night just before I'm going to sleep.

Sometimes, I will pop it in before The Guy is ready to sleep or when he can't go back to sleep because I've woken him up.  It is at these times that he likes to strike up conversations with me.

Let me explain.  The mouth guard makes my top lip stick out like I've been in a boxing match.  Also, it makes me lisp terribly.  The Guy thinks it is quite amusing.

One night we were chatting about Monty being dumb (don't worry, he was asleep, he didn't know) and I said something that must have contained a lot of esses, because The Guy made me repeat it numerous times before I realized he was mocking me.

Then I punched him.

Reader Comments (1)

You are truly your mother's daughter. The guy is right; you could injure yourself in a padded cell. I would advise him to find out soon if this is true.

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Blog Fodder

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