Books to the ceiling, Books to the sky

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
                                                    Arnold Lobel

My family has always had a thing about books.  Our home was a veritable library.  Each room had a collection larger than the room before it.  Books were accumulated, treated as collectibles, acquired as trophies.  Books were revered, respected, and amassed in large quantities.

Growing up before computers were common in every home and before every answer was just a Google search away, we had a library of knowledge at our fingertips.  Assignments were not completed at the school library, they were completed by standing in front of the living room bookshelves.  Each bookshelf had lines of history books, art books, biographies, and the occasional Pierre Burton thrown in.

Each one of us developed our own personal library early on.  Small shelves were erected and quickly filled with treasured copies of Little House on the Prairie, Anne of Green Gables, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, and old westerns.  There were books to be handled carefully and then there were books to be devoured.  Favourite books were dog eared, spine bent, and tattered.  They showed physical memories of each read - tear splotched obscured words, book jackets curved with handling, pages soft with the oils of many hands.

Books have remained a staple for each of us.  Walls are lined with copies of everything from early edition classic novels to crisp new books ready to be perused.  Each sibling has created a collection speaking to their own individuality --some books are present in each collection, while others are miles apart in kind, topic, and intellect.  All are dearly loved and rarely parted with.  Those of us with spouses have heard the lament of too many books (as if there were a such thing!) and fought for space and exhibition.

When I was about 10 years old, a friend gave me a beautiful, gilded copy of Jane Eyre.  The friend was well above the normal intellect and most of us in her circle read books well beyond our assigned grades.  This book was special.  It was hardcover bound in leather, with a beautiful picture of a girl (presumably Jane) on it's cover.  The pages were edged with gold and were made of a thin material that felt as though it would tear with any touch.

I placed the book reverently on a shelf and left it there.  I would often take it in my hands, feel the raised leather with my fingertips, and gaze at the picture.  I would then place it back on the shelf.  I never read it.  The book was too pretty to treat as I did the other books I loved.  Books that are now coming apart at the seams having been read at least a hundred times.  This book has sat on my shelf in one room or another, moved from house to house and never been read.

Finally, as an adult, I decided to read it.  I tend to be hesitant to read anything labelled "a classic piece of literature".  It stems from both laziness and refusal to do what others tell me to do.  However, each time I have read a classic they quickly become one of my favourites.  I looked at the beautiful book on my shelf and hesitated.  It was then I went out and purchased a second copy - soft cover with no elaborate picture or decoration.   I am well into the book now and love it.  I'm a little put off by the Bronte love of run on sentences, however, the characters and the story make me wish I had read it years ago.

When I have a little girl, I will pass on my beautiful copy of Jane Eyre.  I will help her put it on her shelf.  And then, I will take her to the store to get a copy she can read.

"Wonderfully Made" or "How I learned about sex"

In my house, we had a book. In this book was the secret to life. It was written in 1967. I am not sure why it was in my house because none of us kids needed it until 1982 or so. This means, of course, my mother learned about sex in her late teens. From this book. It is a wonder we were ever born.

Here it is. The inside page of our book. Look at how happy they are! All dressed in their finest casual clothes to learn about life and growing up. Look at how progressive they are! She is carrying her own books. And she's showing ankle!

The first chapter of the book describes the life of the average boy and girl. See the illustration below. Boys play with cars. Girls learn to sew. See how happy they are?

"Growing as boys and girls".

Next we learn where babies come from. Did you know? Babies grow in little orbs that float. And they smile. The whole time!!

Mom and Dad with floating space baby.

But how does the baby get into the floating orb? A baby is created when a loving husband and wife decide to forgo the twin beds for a night of snuggling and other things you do not need to know anything about.

Men = snakes. Women = sunspots.

Now we will learn about the productive system.

Women make babies. This is because they have ovaries. There is nothing else about the woman's reproductive system that will be of any interest for you. Cli- what?

Don't worry about it. It's supposed to be a mystery.

The man's reproductive system is very complex and important. Notice how many things we have names for! Do not take notice of the size. Size is NOT important.

Very, very important thing to understand.

This is how babies grow.

Babies grow in toilet seats. They always look like babies. ALWAYS.

Don't worry, ladies. It doesn't hurt a bit.
Men, go grab a cigar and pace. You don't need to be here for this!

As soon as the baby is born, the mother should be fully and neatly groomed. She can ask for assistance from other females, but this is strictly her responsibility. The husband might assist in putting the dishes on the table, but this is only in times of desperation.

Nipple. Nipple!!! LOOK AWAY!!!!!!!

Children grow up so quickly. Women will grow up wearing dresses and having cute hair. They will eventually wear high heels - but only when they are adults. Breasts will also grow, but not so much as you will notice them. A woman's waist should always remain the same size. So should her feet.

Boys will grow into Star Trek captains who play football.

And finally, "Preparing for the Future". Men, put on your suits and get out into the world to earn some money!! Women, get those aprons pressed! You have some work to do!!

I can't wait until my children ask where babies come from.

Day of Grace: Day 2

Things making me happy today. Well, some from last night and some from today. Shift work messes me up a bit.

1. I love starting a new book just before bedtime and getting so distracted by it I forget to go to sleep. I finally drift off once the book is too heavy in my hands and the words are swimming in front of me.
2. Neil Diamond's "Girl, you'll be a woman soon".
3. I love the Twilight books. I have finished the third book (in two days) and am firmly planted in Team Jacob. Edward may be pretty, but he's not the man that Jacob is. Yes, I'm aware I am talking about them like they are real. Shush.
4. Intense conversations with friends over good food in an empty diner at 3am.
5. Introducing older people to Facebook and having them be really confused by the entire concept.

New addition: 6. Willie Nelson's "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain". Breaks my freakin' heart.

I am participating in NaBloPoMo for December. And in 365 Days of Grace in the Small Things.

What? I read for fun, not education

I come from a family of readers. We each have a book collection that fills about 12 - 17 boxes when moving. At least. Possibly more. We all have books stuffed into every corner of every room. There are certain things in our family that are staples. Books are like that.

So, I wasn't surprised when Ky asked what book I wanted for Christmas. We tend to buy each other books, movies, CDs, or CDs of a movie based on a book. I scoured the Chapters website to see what I might like. Nothing immediately jumped at me so this is what I said:

I have no idea which ones I might want. So, search around. I'm sure you will find something I like. If not, look for anything with a Navy Seal in it and the words "heaving bosom".



I am participating in NaBloPoMo. Or, as a fellow blogger calls it "NaBlowMe". At least one post every day for a month. What was I thinking??